Hanging Loose in Hawaii

Kat, Mom and I took a 7 night cruise around the Hawaiian Islands on Norweigian Cruise Line. It was just us and 950 crew members and 2,997 other tourists in Hawaiian shirts.

Highlights of the Hawaii cruise:

• Sleeping, eating, drinking, reading whenever I wanted. In the sun, next to the pool. On the beach, lying on a towel. In bed, way past my bed time.
• Successfully sneaking our bottle of Tanqueray onto the ship, and subsequent pleasures thereby derived.
• Mozzarella sticks at the diner on board whenever I wanted. I ate a lot of them. Warm, gooey, absolutely American.
• Burgers! With cheese! “Can you please toast my bun?” (Seriously—it improves the flavor immensely.)
• Passing the Kilauea volcano on Hawaii at night—fiery lava on land with tons of stars in the sky.
• Jasper, one of the crew (job = make people have fun on board): “You look like that lady in ‘Pretty in Pink’—you ever been told that? Girl, you are gorgeous!”
• Malls. Sad, right? Yes, for me, Ms. Anti-Consumerism. I was shocked at how quickly I wanted to try on black dresses. Why?
• Hammock in Kaua’i (at the Marriott Botanical Gardens). Hammocks make everything better.
  

Silly things to complain about on the cruise:

• The boat rocking. First night I thought I’d lose my dinner. I somehow made it though. I quickly got my sea legs, praise be to the goddess of the seas.
• Mom’s snoring. Luckily I brought ear plugs!
• While it was fun at first, after a few days the brightly colored Hawaiian shirts, visors, fake leis, and big hair started to get to me.
• “Aloooooooooha.” If I want to say “aloha,” I’ll say “aloha.” Being forced to repeat this multiple times in unison with other folks on board caused me to feel the urge to commit a heinous act with coconuts.
• The anti-germ hand spraying. Before and after eating, while getting on and off the boat, and at other random times we were asked to hold out our hands for anti-bacterial hand spray. Yes, I appreciate the effort to discourage an epidemic while at sea, and I think it’s a great idea to deal with men who forget or refuse to wash their hands after using the bathroom. However, after a while I started wondering, “Have they put something else in that liquid they are spraying on your hands? A subtle scent that whispers to you: “Buy a drink, they’re only $10. Go to the gift shop and purchase useless crap that you’ll never really want when you get home. Go ahead, sign up for that $350 helicopter excursion…”
  

All in all, it was a great trip. Eat, sleep, drink when you want. Nothing to plan--and no way to get lost! I never thought I'd enjoy a cruise before the age of 30. Watch out--I may take another one!

Lewis Ladies Hawaii 2010 Photos